And any other social network for that matter

- By Yasir Qadhi -

- by Habib Ali Zaenal Abidin Al-Hamid -

Keluarga merupakan kelompok pertama dalam membina sebuah masyarakat harmoni, berprestasi, maju dan mempunyai kredibiliti yang tinggi. Keluarga dengan individu yang soleh akan melahirkan masyarakat yang baik, seterusnya membina ummah beretika dan berakhlak mulia. Oleh sebab itu, Islam memberi perhatian yang penuh serta bimbingan yang jelas dalam kehidupan berumah tangga secara teori atau konsep, dan juga secara praktikal.

Secara teori Allah s.w.t. berfirman, "Wahai orang-orang yang beriman, jagalah diri-diri kamu dan ahli keluargamu daripada api neraka."(At-Tahrim 66:6)

Maksud menjaga ahli keluarga adalah dengan menasihati, mengajar serta membimbing mereka agar mengetahui perintah-perintah agama dan larangan-larangannya. Seterusnya mentaati segala perintah tersebut sebagai usaha berterusan untuk selamat daripada api neraka. Dalam ayat ini, terdapat beberapa perkara yang penting:

Perintah wajib - Tidak ada perkara yang lebih wajib daripada menjaga dan menyelamatkan keluarga yang kita sayangi daripada api neraka.

Keutamaan - Mendahulukan diri sendiri dan ahli keluarga dalam penjagaan itu.

Diakui keimana - Orang yang melakukan tanggungjawab ini diakui keimanannya oleh Allah s.w.t. kerana seruan Allah dalam ayat ini adalah kepada orang-orang yang beriman.

Seruan - Ditujukan kepada orang yang bertanggungjawab ke atas ahli keluarganya, terutama suami atau ayah.

Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda, "Sebaik-baik kamu adalah yang terbaik kepada ahli keluarganya, dan aku adalah orang yang terbaik ahli kerluargaku." (Riwayat Ibnu Majah)

Hadis ini juga memberi dua maksud umtama:
- Perintah berbuat baik kepada ahli keluarga.
- Pemberitahunan bahawa Rasulullah s.a.w. model terbaik dalam membimbing keluarga.

Untuk berjaya menunaikan perintah yang pertama, hendaklah dengan melakukan juga perkara yang kedua iaitu menjadikan Rasulullah s.a.w. sebagai model dalam membina keluarga. Seterusnya membina masyarakat dan ummah yang mempunyai keperibadian mulia.

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• Mengekalkan niat yang positif dalam setiap perkataan dan perbuatan.

• Melakukan muhasabah setiap hari terutama sebelum tidur.

• Mengekalkan azam untuk hari ini lebih baik daripada semalam pada setiap bangun awal pagi.

• Mengatur segala bahan bacaan, tontonan dan audio yang bermanfaat untk diri dan keluarga.

• Sentiasa berdoa untuk diri sendiri, ibu bapa, ahli keluarga, masyarakat dan seluruh kaum Muslimin.

• Mengekalkan membaca al-Quran setiap hari, paling-paling kurang tiada ayat.

• Merasai kesyukuran sentiasa atas anugerah Tuhan pada diri.

• Berkongsi ilmu dan sikap pengalaman yang baik dengan orang lain.

• Melihat kejadian, perbuatan dan sikap masyarakat sekeliling sebagai pembelajaran dan teladan.

• Melihat sikap atau pandangan negatif orang lain kepada kita sebagai batu loncatan untuk baiki diri.

• Mempunyai sahabat baik yang sejalan atas syariat dan adil dalam memberi nasihat.

• Mempunyai mentor yang berilmu dan pengalaman hidup yang banyak sebagai sumber rujukan dan nasihat.

Why are we tested?
Allah subhanahu wa ta`la, exalted and free from imperfection is He, states that every man and woman will be tested with difficulties, hardship and loss in life. Allah tests us for the following reasons:

1. To distinguish between those who sincerely believe in Allah and those who don't.

"Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: 'We believe and we will not be tested'?" (Qur'an, Al-Ankabut, 29:2)

2. To encourage mankind to strive to do good deeds.

"Who has created death and life that He may test who is best in deed." (Qur'an, Al-Mulk 67:2)

3. To purify the soul and expiate sins.

"Whatever trouble, illness, anxiety, grief, pain and sorrow afflict a Muslim, even if it is the pricking of a thorn - Allah removes some of his sins because of it." (Narrated by Abu Sa`eed al-Khudri, Bukhari and Muslim)

4. To distinguish between those who believe in the Hereafter (akhirah) and those who do not.

"...We might test him who believes in the Hereafter from him who is in doubt concerning it: and the Lord watches over all things (All-Knower of everything i.e. He keeps record of each and every person as regards to deeds and then He will reward them accordingly.)" (Qur'an, Saba 34:21)

5. For believers to earn the reward of Paradise (Jannah), if they remain patient and faithful to Allah throughout adversity.

"Did you think that you would enter Paradise without Allah testing those of you who fought hard in His cause and (also) test those who are as-Sabireen (the patient ones)?" (Qur'an, Al-`Imran 3:142)

Tests for Believers and Non-Believers
As mentioned before Allah subhanahu wa ta`la tests his creation to distinguish between those who have faith and those who do not. The stronger they are in faith, the more He will test them. Although this may seem unfair, Allah is never unjust.

The more He tests the believers, the more He will reward them in return. The opportunities to earn the rewards of Allah are equal for both men and women. However, the rewards for believers and non-believers (or disbelievers) are quite different. Rewards for non-believers are only awarded in this life, whereas the rewards for believers are rewarded in this life and in the Hereafter (akhirah).

The life often feels like a prison to the true believer because of all the Islamic restrictions, sacrifices, and severe hardships he has to endure. His life is spent in constant struggle between his own wanton desires and his moral conscience. However, Allah is aware of all his efforts and self-sacrifice and will either rewards for it in this life or in the Hereafter (or both). Every times a believer makes a sacrifice for Allah's sake, he sins will be expiated. A good deed will be written for him and its reward multiplied hundreds of times. Allah provides incentives such as these to encourage us to strive harder and make more and more sacrifices in our lives.

If a person embraces Islam sincerely, then Allah shall forgive all his past sins, and after that starts the settlement of accounts: the reward of his good deeds will be ten times to several hundred times for each good deed, and an evil deed will be recorded as it is, unless Allah forgives it too out of His Mercy.
Worship consists of three levels of belief and striving:

1. Islam - total submission and obedience to Allah.
2. Imaan - true faith consisting of belief in the heart, speech of the tongue and action of the limbs.
3. Ihsaan - perfection of worship, doing good deeds as though you see Allah, and if you cannot achieve this feeling or attitude then you must remember that He sees you.

Every believer should try to live his life according to these basic levels of worship.

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Looking attentively to the biography of the Prophet – peace be upon him – you will find that he was extending a great deal respect to his wives and was paying high attention, care and love toward them.

He was the best example for the ideal manners toward the wife. He was comforting his wives, wiping their tears, respecting their emotions, hearing their words, caring for their complaints, alleviating their sadness, going in picnics with them, racing with them, bearing their abandonment, discussing matters with them, keeping their dignity, supporting them in emergencies, declaring his love to them and was very happy with such love. Here are some attractive examples and shining moments in his life:

Knowing their Feelings 

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was telling Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her: "I know well when you are pleased or angry from me. Aisha replied: How you know that? He said: When you are pleased with me you swear by saying "By the God of Mohammad" but when you are angry you swear by saying "By the God of Ibrahim". She said: You are right, I just desert you name. In another narration the same tradition ended by saying: "No, by the God of Ibrahim".


Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2439

Understanding their Jealousy & Love 


Umm Salama – May Allah be pleased with her – narrated: she brought food in a dish of her own to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – and his companions. Seeing that, Aisha came holding a tool and broke the dish out of jealousy. Understanding the situation, the Prophet took the two halves of the dish and said to his companions: Eat your food, it is just the jealousy of your mother, then the Prophet took the dish of Aisha and gave it to Um Salama and gave the dish of Um Salama to Aisha. 


Narrated by: Um Salama – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Sahih Al-Nasa'i – Page or number: 3966

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1. Jangan putus asa

Seorang pencinta sejati tidak akan pernah berputus asa. Dalam perkahwinan, ketabahan dan kesabaran itu amat penting, umpama isi kelapa; amal patinya, buang hampasnya.
Jangan sesekali menjadikan cinta yang pernah hadir dahulu umpama embuh pada pagi hari, kerana sedikit demi sedikit ia menghilang kala bahang mentari kian meninggi. Jika ini dapat dilakukan, maka langkah kedua pasti lebih mudah untuk dilalui, in sha Allah.

2. Perkasakan cinta

Andai pertemuan dengan pasangan adalah kerana cinta, maka pertahankan rasa cinta itu. Namun ia terlebih dahulu perlu dibersihkan daripada nafsu yang menipu, kemudian diperkasakan pula dengan cinta kepada-Nya. 
Gelora cinta ini akan menjadi penawar yang menolak segala kebencian yang hadir terutama ketika berhadapan dengan kerenah pasangan. Jika benar-benar mencinta suami ataupun isteri, maka perasaan cinta ini mampu berfungsi sebagai perangsang untuk membantu pasangan keluar daripada kelalaiannya.
Insafilah, andai benar anda mencinta pasangan di dunia ini dan berkeinginan meneruskan alam percintaan di syurga abadi, in sha Allah, maka dua langkah di atas jangan sesekali diabaikan. Sematkan ayat cinta ini dada kalian; sebagai peringatan, sebagai pedoman cinta orang bertakwa.
Firman-Nya yang bermaksud: "Teman-teman akrab pada hari itu sebahagiannya menjadi musuh bagi sebahagian yang lain kecuali orang yang bertakwa." (Surah al-Zukhruf 43:67)

3. Gantungkan harapan

Jika mengharapkan cinta berkesinambungan hingga ke syurga, maka pergantungan yang benar harus diletakkan kepada-Nya. Mengharap pada manusia, rasa kecewa akan menjelma apabila jalan-jalan harapan itu dinodai dengan perlakuan yang tidak terjangka.
Akan tetapi, menggantung harapan kepada Allah, walau apa jua yang berlaku di akhirnya, maka jiwa akan reda dan pasrah atas setiap ketentuan Yang Esa.

“…Bear with patience whatever befalls you….” (Qur’an 31:17)

and

“Be not sad, surely Allah is with us.” (Qur’an 9:40)

“Verily, if Allah loves a people, He makes them go through trials. Whoever is satisfied, for him is contentment, and whoever is angry upon him is wrath.” [Tirmidhi]

Being sad is not encouraged in Islam

Allah Subhana wa’taala said:

“So do not become weak, nor be sad…” (Qur’an 3:139)

“And grieve not over them, and be not distressed because of what they plot.” (Qur’an 16:127)

The Prophet (salah allahu ‘alayhi wa salam) said: “The most beloved of people to Allah is the one who brings most benefit to people, and the most beloved of deeds to Allah is making a Muslim happy, or relieving him of hardship, or paying off his debt, or warding off hunger from him. For me to go with my Muslim brother to meet his need is dearer to me than observing i’tikaaf in this mosque – meaning the mosque of Madinah – for a month…whoever goes with his Muslim brother to meet his need, Allah will make him stand firm on the Day when all feet will slip.”

[Ibn Abi’l-Dunya, Classed as 'Hasan' by al-Albani in Sahih al-Targhib wa’l-Tarhib]