Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
7 CONTOH ISTERI YANG SERING DICERAIKAN
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Di dunia ini ada pelbagai jenis wanita. Isteri yang baik atau wanita solehah, adalah harta simpanan yang terbaik bagi seorang suami.
Rasulullah Shallallahu’ alaihi Wasallam bersabda, ” Mahukah kamu keberitahu suatu harta simpanan (perhiasan) yang sangat baik? Iaitu wanita solehah, yang apabila kamu melihatnya, ia menyeronokkan. Apabila kamu perintah, dia patuh. Dan apabila ditinggal pergi, dia selalu menjaga diri dan harta suaminya. ” (Riwayat Abu Dawud)
Kalau dilihat dia menyenangkan, itu disebabkan budi yang luhur, pakaian bersih, dandanan yang serasi di hadapan suaminya dan berusaha yang terbaik untuk tampil menarik hanya di depan suami dan anak-anaknya.
Jika diperintahkan, dia akan patuh, menunjukkan ketaatan dan baktinya pada suaminya. Dia ingin selalu memberikan kepuasan bagi suaminya.
Sentiasa memelihara diri dan harta suaminya, menggambarkan betapa besar kekuatan agama dan ketebalan imannya terhadap ALLAH dan Rasul-Nya. Apabila suaminya tidak ada, dia tetap memelihara kehormatan diri dan harta suaminya.
Bila seorang wanita tidak solehah dan mempunyai sifat atau kebiasaan yang buruk, suka menyusahkan suaminya tentulah itu bukan perhiasan bagi seorang suami. Bahkan, boleh jadi suami tidak suka bersamanya, kemudian menceritakannya.
Jika engkau, wahai isteri menginginkan rumah tangga yang bahagia di dunia dan akhirat, buanglah jauh-jauh dari dirimu tujuh sifat tersebut. Bila tidak, engkau celaka di dunia dan akhirat .
Berikut ini tujuh jenis wanita yang sering diceraikan suami.
1. Tidak punya rasa malu . Yang tidak malu melakukan hal-hal yang dilarang ALLAH. Dia jauh dari sifat takwa dan banyak melakukan maksiat.
2. Ausyarah (kotor) iaitu tidak pandai mengatur rumah, malas mengemas diri, dan malas melakukan apa-apa sehingga dirinya, anak-anak dan rumahnya kotor dan tidak menyenangkan.
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Why Prophet Muhammad Married Aisha When She Was Only 9?
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1-It was a divine inspiration:

Before describing the rationale behind this married relation, let it be known that the Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) married Sayyida Aisha not of his own desire rather it was a Divine inspiration. Read the following Hadith;
Narrated ‘Aisha:
That the Prophet said to her, “You have been shown to me twice in my dream. I saw you pictured on a piece of silk and some-one said (to me). ‘This is your wife.’ When I uncovered the picture, I saw that it was yours. I said, ‘If this is from Allah, it will be done.” {Bukhari :: Volume 5 :: Book 58 :: Hadith 235}

2-It was not out of his physical desires:

The Holy Prophet (Peace be upon him) did not marry Sayyidah Aisha out of his physical desires. One need to note that for first 54 years of his life he had only one wife. His only wife till 50th year of his life was Sayyida Khadija. He spent his entire youth with her and she was a two time widowed woman, 15 years elder to him. For next four years his only wife was Sayyidah Sa’uda.

3-Age of Marriage in Old Ages:

One must first understand that 1400 years ago was very different than now, times have changed and so have humans. 1400 years ago it was something very common to marry young girls, in fact they were not considered young girls, and rather they were considered young women back then. It is a historic fact that girls from the ages of 9 to 14 were being married in Europe, Asia, and Africa, in fact even in the United States girls at the age of 10 were also being married just more than a century ago.
Yet with these facts no historian claims that all these people were sick perverts, historians would call anyone who made such a claim to be arrogant and very stupid who has no grasp or understanding of history.
Even in Indo-Pak Sub-Continent girls used to be married at 12-13 even 50-60 years ago. And those ‘girls’ infact raised much better families. There were less family problems then. A simple analyses of the divorce rate then and know would certainly make it clear that maturity level earlier used to be different i.e. people used to come of age rather quickly.
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8 ways of finding the right person to marry
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Marriage is never an easy thing. We think of it as this amazing romantic bliss that we will somehow attain one day.
Sisters dream of marrying that amazing brother who has the character of the Messenger of Allaah (sallAllaahu 'alayhi wa sallam), the Eemaan of Aboo Bakr, the courage of Hamzah, the wealth of 'AbdiRahmaan bin 'Awf but the fact still remains, everyone wants to marry that one truly amazing person and it is not much different for guys.
We wish to bump into a Hoor al-'Een that has lost her way from Jannah. I mean why wouldn't that ever happen? It won't happen, because you are daydreaming bro that's why.
Now wake up and listen to this short lesson in some important "Do's and Dont's" along with other useful information inshaaAllaah.

#8 AVOID FACEBOOK SPOUSES
And any other social network for that matter
Since we spend most of our time online these days, it is very easy to try to fulfil all our needs online, even the need of finding a soul mate. Now don't get me wrong, there are marriages who actually do work out, and I am not by any means hating on brothers and sisters who made it work (whatever floats your boats akhis and ukthis, just keep it halaal), but let's face it, the Internet is a very weird place.
Everyone always tries to seem holier than they really are, even a Kaafir could pretend to be Muslim scholar for all you know.  In the good old days people married other people who they actually knew, and life was much more smooth, in very broad terms.
But today you marry someone who comes across as religious online only to find out on your wedding night he isn't really that strict on Salah, oh and did I mention he has tons of friends who just happen to be girls? And not to mention he smokes (sorry forgot to tell you that too, my bad) the point is, be very careful concerning ANY online proposals.
If the person is serious and a good guy, drop them your wali's number and don't communicate with them anymore, then you'll know if the person is really a gentleman or not.
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Love which ends in marriage – is it haraam?
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Is love that ends in marriage haraam?
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
 The relationship that develops between a man and a non-mahram woman, which people call “love” is a combination of haraam things that transgress shar’i and moral limits.
No wise person will doubt that this relationship is haraam, because it involves a man being alone with a non-mahram woman, looking at her, touching her, kissing, and speaking words filled with love and admiration, which provokes desire.
This relationship may lead to things that are more serious than that, as is happening nowadays.
We have mentioned a number of these haraam things in the answer to question no. 84089.
Secondly: 
Studies have shown that most of the marriages that are based on prior love between a man and woman fail, whereas most marriages that are not based on haraam relationships, which people call “traditional marriages”, succeed.
In a field study done by a French sociologist, the conclusion was:
Marriage is more likely to succeed when the two parties did not fall in love before marriage.
In another study of 1500 families, undertaken by Professor Isma’eel ‘Abd al-Baari, the conclusion was that more than 75% of love marriages ended in divorce, whilst the rate among traditional marriages – those which were not based on prior love – was less than 5%.
We can mention the most important causes of this outcome: 
1-    Emotion blinds one to seeing faults and dealing with them, as it is said: “Love is blind”. One or both parties may have faults that make them unsuitable for the other, but those faults only become apparent after marriage.
2-    The lovers may think that life is an unending journey of love, so we see that they only speak of love and dreams, etc. They never speak about the problems of life and how to deal with them. This notion is destroyed after marriage, when they are confronted with the problems and responsibilities of life.
3-    The lovers are not used to debate and discussion, rather they are used to sacrifice and compromise in order to please the other party. Often they have arguments because each party wants to compromise and please the other. Then the opposite happens after marriage, and their arguments lead to a problem, as each one is used to the other agreeing with him or her, without any argument.
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The Prophet's Emotions Towards His Wives
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Looking attentively to the biography of the Prophet – peace be upon him – you will find that he was extending a great deal respect to his wives and was paying high attention, care and love toward them.

He was the best example for the ideal manners toward the wife. He was comforting his wives, wiping their tears, respecting their emotions, hearing their words, caring for their complaints, alleviating their sadness, going in picnics with them, racing with them, bearing their abandonment, discussing matters with them, keeping their dignity, supporting them in emergencies, declaring his love to them and was very happy with such love. Here are some attractive examples and shining moments in his life:

Knowing their Feelings 

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was telling Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her: "I know well when you are pleased or angry from me. Aisha replied: How you know that? He said: When you are pleased with me you swear by saying "By the God of Mohammad" but when you are angry you swear by saying "By the God of Ibrahim". She said: You are right, I just desert you name. In another narration the same tradition ended by saying: "No, by the God of Ibrahim".


Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2439

Understanding their Jealousy & Love 


Umm Salama – May Allah be pleased with her – narrated: she brought food in a dish of her own to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – and his companions. Seeing that, Aisha came holding a tool and broke the dish out of jealousy. Understanding the situation, the Prophet took the two halves of the dish and said to his companions: Eat your food, it is just the jealousy of your mother, then the Prophet took the dish of Aisha and gave it to Um Salama and gave the dish of Um Salama to Aisha. 


Narrated by: Um Salama – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Sahih Al-Nasa'i – Page or number: 3966

Read More here >>

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Saranan Memperbaiki Cinta
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1. Jangan putus asa

 Seorang pencinta sejati tidak akan pernah berputus asa. Dalam perkahwinan, ketabahan dan kesabaran itu amat penting, umpama isi kelapa; amal patinya, buang hampasnya.
Jangan sesekali menjadikan cinta yang pernah hadir dahulu umpama embuh pada pagi hari, kerana sedikit demi sedikit ia menghilang kala bahang mentari kian meninggi. Jika ini dapat dilakukan, maka langkah kedua pasti lebih mudah untuk dilalui, in sha Allah.

2. Perkasakan cinta

 Andai pertemuan dengan pasangan adalah kerana cinta, maka pertahankan rasa cinta itu. Namun ia terlebih dahulu perlu dibersihkan daripada nafsu yang menipu, kemudian diperkasakan pula dengan cinta kepada-Nya. 
Gelora cinta ini akan menjadi penawar yang menolak segala kebencian yang hadir terutama ketika berhadapan dengan kerenah pasangan. Jika benar-benar mencinta suami ataupun isteri, maka perasaan cinta ini mampu berfungsi sebagai perangsang untuk membantu pasangan keluar daripada kelalaiannya.
Insafilah, andai benar anda mencinta pasangan di dunia ini dan berkeinginan meneruskan alam percintaan di syurga abadi, in sha Allah, maka dua langkah di atas jangan sesekali diabaikan. Sematkan ayat cinta ini dada kalian; sebagai peringatan, sebagai pedoman cinta orang bertakwa.
Firman-Nya yang bermaksud: "Teman-teman akrab pada hari itu sebahagiannya menjadi musuh bagi sebahagian yang lain kecuali orang yang bertakwa." (Surah al-Zukhruf 43:67)

3. Gantungkan harapan

 Jika mengharapkan cinta berkesinambungan hingga ke syurga, maka pergantungan yang benar harus diletakkan kepada-Nya. Mengharap pada manusia, rasa kecewa akan menjelma apabila jalan-jalan harapan itu dinodai dengan perlakuan yang tidak terjangka.
Akan tetapi, menggantung harapan kepada Allah, walau apa jua yang berlaku di akhirnya, maka jiwa akan reda dan pasrah atas setiap ketentuan Yang Esa.
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